Life at Lamplighter Lodge...come sit a spell

Life at this lodge is never dull.

The Lord keeps us dependant on Him - we must choose to grow or find ourselves repeating the lessons. Some learning curves are slight and others test us immensely.

We dream of days when we can shut out the noise of this world and focus on the quiet calm instead. Our lives tend to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of what the world says is important. It's time to sit for a spell in one of the rocking chairs on the porch. We need to take the time to soak up His goodness, to smell the air and all that it carries...like the scent of the trees and flowers around us. To hear the birds singing above us. To feel a gentle breeze in the sunshine. To enjoy God's amazing artistry and focus on Eternity's Paradise...not the busyness of today. Do you need to sit a spell? I know I do.

I'll get the iced tea and meet you on the porch.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Blessing & Consequence Cards

After trying so many things to keep the kids accountable and diligent when it comes to chores we have combined bits and pieces of what worked.

Years ago I tried the Marble Jar: for every good thing they did they earned a marble. When the jar was full they'd earn a reward. Problem was my kids would either sneak marbles or I'd forget to give them marbles and worst yet, they wouldn't receive their reward. Marble Jar - bust.

Then I tried a Blessing Box: If they had completed their chores for the day they'd get a sticker on a chart. Once the chart had a full week of stickers they'd earn a trip to the Blessing Box which had Dollar Tree items or Gift Cards (for the older ones). The gift cards went fast so I could not afford to replenish those and then they weren't motivated anymore. The Dollar Tree items were good and exciting for my Littles but then it just added more clutter to our already messy home. Blessing Box - bust.

A few years ago I heard about http://www.doorposts.com/ and their character building tools: If/Then Chart for bad behavior and consequences, the Blessing Chart for rewarding good behavior, the "Go to the Ant" chart for identifying behavior, the Instruction in Righteousness book that has a ton of scriptures for each character trait and the Brother Offended Checklist. All of these are great tools, and I am very pleased we started using them. BUT, I don't think the consequences we chose were appropriate or effective, and the blessings we couldn't or didn't implement so it was a bust as well.

SO...this is our current system and it is working!



I made Blessing Cards and Consequence Cards. Basically, I just made a word document table, cut out the sections (which were my "cards") and then laminated them. We still use the Blessing and If/Then charts but instead of writing the rewards/consequences on the charts we have just assigned the # of cards they pull. Levi would get angry and argue about his consequence when it was on the chart, now it is all on him. He still doesn't like it but he gets what he gets and can't really point blame. Plus, now instead of me yelling, I just say, "For "x" behavior (say disrespecting authority) pull your cards." They go immediately to the If/Then Chart to find out how many cards to pull, then they go to the bulletin board and pull the # of cards for the behavior (we had to decide which behaviors should receive more cards...the most they pull is 2 cards...both for consequences or blessings).

They show the card to me and then it is put in their envelope on the bulletin board. It stays there until it is done. Ideally they would do it immediately, but if they need to do school, they will do it after school and before free time. Once I have okayed that they indeed completed the chore, it goes back in the "draw pile". There is one "You've been afforded Grace" card in each draw pile...the consequence grace card allows them to forego their consequence. For the blessing grace card, they are allowed to hold onto the grace and use it when they do earn a consequence. Once a grace card is pulled, it stays out of the draw pile for the entire day (or until it is used as their blessing).

Examples of consequences:
Loss of electronics for 1 day


15 minutes of weeding or yard work
(there is a story for this which I explain in my post "The Beauty of Weeding")


Wash 2 mini-blinds

Clean a closet

You've been afforded GRACE

Do a good deed for All siblings
etc...

Examples of blessings:

No Chores for 1 Day


Extra 1/2 hour past bedtime


Extra 1/2 hour of electronics


Pick your own (sugar) cereal


Mom or Dad will do 1 chore tomorrow


Movie Night (you) get snacks

etc...
I forgot to mention that the cards are to remain facing in toward the bulletin board so they can't "pick" which card they pull.
We struggle with maintaining a schedule (because we are lazy which is not a positive character trait) so we have given the kids a morning schedule which includes their chores. If they do not get everything done they earn a consequence card for each zone (which I explain under my post "Chore Cards").
I still wind up yelling (another one of MY poor character traits - anger) but it has greatly lessened. And if I do yell, that generally means the kids have been disrespectful, in which case they get to pull 2 cards. It is a thing of beauty...and I wind up apologizing for my temper.
Hopefully we'll be able to keep this system for a while :)

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